


Unknown

by aspiratixn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 20:56:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5758576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspiratixn/pseuds/aspiratixn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'll remember my life when I'm dead. </p><p>I'm sorry, I didn't mean it literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unknown

He always knew it was coming down to this. There are but two things he really wanted, deep in his heart. His best friend and their life together. 

Eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. He’s an adult now, deadly silent. The blank white taunts him, it demands. It demands that he give it all up for what he wants. Fresh tears spring but they do not fall, instead evaporating and he wonders if he can cry anymore.

There’s no one to his left, nor his right. The white, grey, pale green and awful brick red blend together on the curtain. It aches but he ignores it, swinging his legs over the edge and putting weight on the knee he shouldn’t be. He closes those dark chocolate eyes, bracing himself as he stands.

He buckles, falling with one hand on the IV stand. Growling, he reaches and gently teases the tape off, slowly easing the needle out of his skin. It bleeds but he knows it will close up soon enough. He stands again, this time barely making it.

He’s already on the near top floor so he meanders out of his room, stumbling his way up to the roof and collapsing there. This time he doesn’t make an effort to stand up. He lays there instead, looking at a sideways world.

He shuts his eyes and it starts.

Age 18, day 15 of uni. Something’s wrong, something went wrong. He’s at something wild, there’s mirror shards embedded into his hand but he doesn’t care. There’s something in his system and it dulls his feelings. The music thrums in his veins, in his bones. It rattles him. He can feel it crumble him from the inside out and he realizes he’s made a mistake. He’s bloodied but the ecstatic feeling won’t leave him. Even so, he knows that the empty feeling in his chest is as large and wide as the room. It’s full but he’s so alone. It’s crazy, he’s in a fight, he’s thrown against the wall, he’s against the couch and it’s all empty.

Age 19, day 201 of uni. He’s gotten arrested again, for vandalism. He doesn’t know what came over him but he did and now he’s being thrusted against the white and blue car, light flashing in his eyes as he turns and sees his partner in crime. Kuroo’s shit eating grin makes him smile and if he wasn’t pinned there, he would’ve leaned over and kissed the hell out of that really hot, moronic man. They’re released later but he links his fingers with the other’s and they go, back. 

Age 20, day questionable in uni. They’ve won. Of course they would, with Ushiwaka and Bokuto, Kuroo and Sawamura. The strongest blend of players. He grins and he’s met with a couple slaps to the back. Oh. 

His knee buckles. He crumples and there’s shouting and panicked calling and he’s seeing lights, bright flashing lights, concerned faces, blurs. It’s all a blur. He’s being lifted up, moving without moving. It darkens and he’s here again.

“Shit.” His voice is rough and breathy at the same time. He can hear something, a siren, alarm. Something like that. Alerting the hospital to his supposed escape.

The door on the roof is flung open.

“Moron I knew you were here.” It’s that voice. The one who screamed at him in the ambulance, demanding to know why he was an idiot. A weight is placed next to him and though he doesn’t open his eyes or turn his head, he knows. And he reaches out, locating the other’s hand with a mythical precision, gripping it like it’s the end of the world.

It’s different. They could’ve been in a field doing this, laughing as the sun bathed their faces. Instead they’re on concrete, clouds hanging over them easily. His breathing feels off, like he can’t take in the air he needs no matter how deeply he breathes. 

The other’s hand is warm, comforting. The callouses rub against his softer skin and he feels a little better, a little more at home. 

“Why’d you leave your room? It’s not like you’re going to die.” 

_ If only you knew the truth _ . He swallows, knowing his time is shorter than anyone can think.

“Sorry. Just needed some fresh air is all.”

Silence.

“Stop lying shitty stupid dumbass.” 

“Is that all you know to call me?”

“That’s all you’re worthy of.”

He chuckles, pain making him spasm. Turning, he can see the other’s red face and bloodshot eyes, wet. He tries, he does, to sit up and brush away the wetness but his body isn’t listening. It’s working overtime to keep him breathing.

“Why didn’t you tell me idiot.” The voice becomes thick. He doesn’t know but he hazards a guess and by the slight shrug, he guessed correctly. 

The messy light brown locks, formerly styled perfectly, now a disaster. He runs his hand through them, water dripping down onto their linked hands. “Dumbass.” 

The one confined by injury, demand and time raises his fingers to his lips and then presses them to the other’s. It’s all he can manage in his weakened state. “I love you.”

“Don’t say that like it’s your last time.” 

He smiles. Age 22, day unknown of Uni. He’s fallen apart and here crumbles the last pieces.

The grip goes slack. 

“Dammit shittykawa.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on a whim while listening to a lot of BTS.


End file.
